Identity crisis or just plain uncertainty?

Hello,

Okay, so I'm not sure why I'm even writing this.

For those people who are following my blog, you may know me as the industrial designer/aspiring writer who is currently working as a graphic designer and had somehow self-published an eBook. That sounds kinda cool isn't it? Well, at least that's what I think...but that's not how I feel.

I mean, I love design, I sure do. Though I can't say that I'm 100% happy with my current job. I mean, I'm an Industrial Design degree holder but I'm working as a graphic designer. But then again, I have no one to blame but myself for choosing this career path. I know I could've gotten a decent job related to industrial design if I just waited. But as I've said in a post I’ve written months ago. Industrial design careers in the Philippines are mostly (Take note that I used the word mostly not entirely,) limited to shelf design and handicrafts. And I don't find that stuff interesting.

As for being an author of a self-published book. Well, I have this not so secret dream of becoming a New York Times Bestselling author, and I realized that it won't happen unless I write and publish a book...or books. And now that I have done it, I realized that I'm happy, but I'm not yet fulfilled. (No, I’m not a New York Times Bestselling author. I have yet to sell a thousand of books to achieve that dream.)

So what's the problem?

I'm not happy. Right now, I keep on fantasizing about my dream job, which happens to be the one Colin Wright is having. (Do check him out. He's awesome. And no, I don't know him personally.) Sure, I could easily pack my stuff and travel somewhere away from home. But I don't think I have enough finances to survive a month in a foreign country.

Then, I also have this other dream of working as a full time author and publish lots and lots of books.

My friends told me, "why not do both?" and my usual reply were either a shrug or a wry smile.

I thought about how I should brand myself. Should I make another website separate from the one I currently have? Or should I just identify myself as designer/author? (If you're wondering what kind of books I write, its fiction. I don't do self-help stuff. Not when I couldn't even help myself decide what I really want to do with my career.)

In the end, I chose the latter and I'm trying to figure out what my next move is going to be.

Sorry for wasting your time. I promise to write something that makes sense next time.

Ciao!

-Den