Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Bossypants love!

Hello!


If you haven't read Tina Fey's autobiography entitled "Bossypants," you might as well read it! It's really funny and it will keep your eyes glued in every page. 



Bossypants includes some funny stories about her childhood, her sudden rise to fame and some personal facts about herself and her experiences in the show business.

I especially like her "Mother's prayer for Its daughter" post which goes on like this.

The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the
FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer
coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered,
May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half
And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools,
walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing
on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.

Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get
outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You,
because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her
Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.

Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long,
For Childhood is short—a Tiger Flower blooming
Magenta for one day—
And Adulthood is long and Dry-Humping in Cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever,
That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers
And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister,
Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends,

For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord,
That I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored,
and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My
mother did this for me.” 

And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and
she will make a Mental Note to call me.

And she will forget.
But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen

I actually loved her more after reading this book. :)


Ciao!

-Den

5 comments:

  1. I hope that you have seen the movie "Mean Girls". She wrote it!!! It is so funny and so true too! I have not read her book but I really want to and I am happy that you like her too.

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  2. Hi Kay!

    Yes, I've watched Mean Girls and I really LOVE it. :) DATE NIGHT was nice as well. :)

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  3. I've not seen DATE NIGHT, but it must be funny too!

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  4. I must admit I have never heard of Tina Fey before. Is she a comedian? an actress? a singer?

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  5. Hello Librarian :)

    Tina Fey is a writer/comedian at the Saturday Night Live (SNL) and she's currently in the 30 Rock Tv series.

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